This blog is more or less a rant about the service industry, but before that begins, there are a number of reasons why beautiful and outgoing men and women choose to stay in the business for so long.
1.) Money
2.) Staff
3.) Money
Basically, as any server or bartender knows, the money is what ultimately drives the need to stay in the industry. What other legal job earns you thousands in cash a month, on top of a pay cheque? I am all ears for suggestions. As for staff, our bar/restaurant becomes like a second home, mind you we spend the majority of our time there, so it should be referred to as our first home, but whatever. The people we work with often become our best friends and even family. Working with the dysfunctional family you never asked for, does end up being pretty awesome at the end of the day.
Okay. So now on to things that suck.
1.) Hours
2.) Guests
That pretty much covers it. Hours suck, because once you hit a certain age, many of your "out-of-the-industry" friends have "9-5" jobs. Yes, I dream of the day when a weekend actually lands on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and long weekends really do last 4 days. On weekends, I am ecstatic if I am home before 3:30, yes that's am. You would think that getting home at 3:30 after running my dick off for 11 hours would make me tired, and want to make sweet passionate love to my bed. Well, that is wrong. Instead I have enough energy to run the New York Marathon, twice. Of course, I do not do that. Usually what goes down, I have a few girls over from work, smoke a splif, watch some TV, and eventually pass out on the couch. If that doesn't sound glamourous, I don't know what would. This cycle usually goes on Wed-Sat.
Finally Sunday arrives. The BEST day of the week. The one day, most servers know they will have off. This day should revolve around laundry, groceries and cleaning, SHOULD, but doesn't. People in the industry can out-drink, and out-party almost everyone. Sundays are centred around sleeping in, day drinking followed by night drinking and passing out.
Mondays, are usually spent in bed, regretting Sundays.
This is definitely not true every week. Nor does it last forever. You sure as hell can tell when this lifestyle is regular for a server. You know the one, the haggard, horse-voice, baggy-eyed one, whose always pounding back Gatorade. Yep, thats the one.
That sounds all fine and dandy, why would that lifestyle suck. Well, because to all of your "9-5" friends and family, you look like an utter mess. Yes, I drink on Sundays and Mondays, what of it. Yes, I sleep in- I work late! Rationalizing your choice in temporary career to others gets old fast. And the hours don't help the case much.
Guests. Okayyy. This is the BEST and WORST part of the job. Guests can make or break your shift. Yes, they are the ones that essentially pay the bills, but they will drive you up the fucking wall at times.
1.) Pretentious
2.) Picky
3.) Children
4.) Allergy-Stricken
5.) Chatty Cathy
These are the 5 most annoying guests for me. I get it, you think you have a lot of money, and that you have the best life. That does not mean you can talk down to your server, or expect me to drop everything the second you need something. I will get it for you, but I am not a magician, and cannot make all your wishes come true by snapping my fingers. Patience is a virtue. Unless you are willing to leave me your life savings, I do not care how much money you have.
If you are picky and expect my Chef to create a custom menu for you because there is nothing on the menu that you like, leave. I am not the one that gets annoyed with you. He does, and I get the brunt of it, and trust me, having a 350lbs man annoyed with you mid-shift, sucks major.
I used to love kids, until working in this industry. A restaurant is NOT a playground, I am NOT a babysitter, and NO we do not have a kids menu. However, I will gladly help someone modify the regular menu to suit the needs of a child, work with me. Secondly, if a child leaves a mess and I have to clean it up, just compensate me for the extra 15 minutes I now have to spend picking Cheerios off of the floor.
This is probably the worst. If someone has an airborn allergy, just stay in your bubble and never come out. I cannot control the air. I can tell my kitchen to be extra careful, but there is no 100% guarantee of anything. I have no idea what the person who touched the door knobs last had to eat. If you are allergic to Gluten, Dairy, Eggs and are a Vegetarian, may I kindly suggest lettuce with Olive Oil and Vinegar on the side?
My job is to bring you everything in my power as fast as possible, while looking after 30 other guests, all the while being friendly, maintaining composure and smiling. If you want to sit and talk for 15 minutes and your happen to be the only guest in the restaurant, talk my ear off. I am probably bored anyways. But if the restaurant is packed, and you see me running around, please hold that thought. it really is nothing personal. I am busy.
Okay. That's it for restaurant rant #1. Off to put my SmartServe to good use, and get people drunk without puking. It is a true science.
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